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I was a former slave to goals and am a rehabilitated 'high achiever.'
And I know one thing for sure: goals can lead to happiness or your imprisonment.
Today my goals fulfil me and enable me to live the life I love.
That was not always the case. Only after 20 years of setting goals, I learned a key difference:
Some goals empower and accelerate you. Others imprison you.
Let me share one painful lesson and learn from my errors.
To craft goals that powerfully create the life you love.
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The Blueprint to Unlock Your Creative Power and Freedom
Experience a life with joy, purpose and presence. A possibility for us all.
That's why I've decided to share the exact blueprint I've used to unlock inner and outer freedom in a new webinar...
Specifically designed to help those who are looking for the missing edge to accelerate all areas of their lives.
In this free webinar, I'll be sharing the exact strategies that enable you to:
- ☑ Stop living life on autopilot: Create your life, your way.
- ☑ Cut through the noise for sustainable change: Find a a path that lasts.
- ☑ Find your creative power that can shape your future, forever.
This is not an infomercial but a transformative and interactive live training. Take this unique opportunity, and step into your freedom!
>>> Join the webinar here
Now, back to crafting the right goals...
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The self-help gurus and influencers say you have to have goals. But, no one tells you that not all goals are equal.
Having the wrong goals is the one big mistake that almost nobody talks about.
You, like most, might end up with a list of wrong goals like this:
And that can lead to frustration, stagnation, and your own enslavement.
Why?
Because they are either
- the opposite of what you don’t want – getting rid of a problem, or
- only describing the process to what you truly want.
In both cases, you are missing out on what you want. And not living your life.
Proof: Getting rid of a problem (= what you don't want) doesn't give you what you want. For example, ‘improving fitness’ is not ‘being healthy’. ‘Improving finances’ is not ‘meaningful work’. ‘Having more followers’ is not 'self-love'.
With dramatic consequences:
Then you dedicate your life to what you don’t want or make it a process (of improvement). Both approaches have temporary relevance, but can’t lead to a vibrant life. They become self-fulfilling. You then experience your life as a continuous problem directed by outside forces. Or simply a soulless, empty process.
Also, wrong goals don’t generate intrinsic motivation.
That's why 83% of people don’t even bother to have goals. And of those who do, 92% fail at their goals. Only 1.2% achieve their goals.*
I know and have worked with hundreds of high-achievers. And my conservative guess is that less than 10% of successful goal setters stay free. And at least 90% become slaves to their goals.
Which means only 0.1% of people know how to use goals for themselves.
While 99.9% of people either miss out on their benefits or become slaves to them.
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How?
Many productivity hacks, accountability groups, and motivational speeches are essentially compensating for a lack of intrinsic motivation. (‘Burn your boat' anyone?) And forcing yourself into following through (‘it’s not optional’ is the mantra). Now you become enslaved to wrong goals, because you don’t know what you truly want.
I was one of them. For a long time, my goal list looked much like the one above. It was a bit fancier, but not much, like:
- Achieve financial freedom at 30 years of age.
- Increase my muscle mass by 20% by the end of year.
- Become more spiritual by meditating 1 hour every day.
I arrogantly thought I had figured it out. I was committed. I followed through and even achieved most of my ambitious goals. I proudly saw myself as a high-achiever. But it was never enough; I felt empty, drained, and over a decade it cost me increasingly more energy to go after my goals. Until my willpower contingent was empty: I literally burned out and couldn't move a needle anymore – to the point where the simple idea of goals made me shiver.
What did I miss?
I floated around for a year in a void with no ambitions, aspirations, and goals. I thought goals were bad.
Then, I had a big realization: Not ‘goals’ but ‘wrong goals’ are bad!
The epiphany: I never specified what I actually wanted my life to be like!
I had only described what I didn’t want, or how I could get to what I wanted. But what I wanted—my life’s experience and real aspirations—were missing in my awareness.
Money and (self) improvement in all its forms were not what I wanted.
I wanted to live free.
I wanted to follow my passions, explore my creativity, and do a podcast. I wanted real friendships, to enjoy free time with my family, and to do meaningful work. I wanted to contribute to something larger than myself, make money from what I love, and express my soul. I wanted to travel the world and deepen my spirituality.
That shift in goals was THE game changer.
It changed my life instantly.
Until then, life was a problem. It was filled with negativity and emptiness. There was endless preparation to be ready to live: more learning, improving, integrating. I woke up. And suddenly was inherently motivated. These goals truly mattered to me. Independent of my outside circumstances or problems.
It also led over 2 years to create the environment and life I actually love to have and experience!
That’s true success to me.
The change in priority was from "HOW do I fix my problems" and "HOW do I get somewhere else" to "WHAT mattered to me." This shift was the gateway to inner and outer joy. It can be to you as well!
Now, you know a bit about me. Let’s make it tangible for you!
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The simple yet effective process to fine-tune your goals and clarify what you really want.
Effective goal setting is a skill that anyone can learn. Use this simple process to start using goals for you, instead of being subservient to them.
Step 1: Verify that you don’t have wrong goals
a) Write down your (current) goals in a list.
b) Write down what you don’t want anymore in your life (all the problems) in another list.
c) Now compare both.
For most people, their 1) goals are simply the 2) opposite of what they don’t want. (E.g. I want money because I struggle financially. I want to lose weight because I feel overweight…) If that’s the case for you, it’s a strong hint for wrong goals.
Great, you sharpened your awareness. Let's move on.
Step 2: Get clarity on your true goals, what you really want
a) Listen to this audio, which takes you through a 4-minute visualisation to get in touch with what you want.
b) Write everything that you want to have in your life down. Don’t question or rationalise it.
c) Isolate the different themes from what you wrote down. E.g., relationship, career, hobbies, spirituality, etc. are each one theme.
d) Formulate one goal for each theme. Don’t describe the process of getting it, but what it looks and feels like when you have it. E.g.
- Wrong: Improve my relationship with my wife. (→ That’s the process, not what you want.)
- Correct: A loving and joyful relationship with my wife. (→ That’s what you want.)
The more specific the goal (details, or emotions), the better you can visualize it. And the stronger the goal will drive you forward.E.g.
- Rather unspecific: Living in a house in the mountains.
- Better: Living with my family in our traditional chalet in the Swiss alps surrounded by wildlife.
>>> Get my free Goal Finding sheet here.
That’s it. Now you have more awareness of what it is that you want. Your true goals.
Time to bring them to life.
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Of course, there is a little bit more to goals and living a truly meaningful life.
That’s what my upcoming free webinar will support you with:
The Blueprint to Unlock Your Creative Power and Freedom
Experience a life with joy, purpose and presence.
- ☑ Stop living life on autopilot: Beliefs, values, and norms shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions. We don’t choose these forces; we inherit them. Now is the time to create your life, your way.
- ☑ Cut through the noise for sustainable change: We’re drowning in knowledge but lack sustainable ways to apply it. Understand what’s holding you back and find a a path that lasts.
- ☑ Your life will never be the same again: Get to the root of your limitations, examine who you truly are, and discover your creative power that can shape your future, forever.
This is not an infomercial but a transformative and interactive live training. Take this unique opportunity, join 1 of the only 2 free webinars and step into your freedom!
- Webinar 1: Aug 9th, 2024, from 5-10 pm CET (11 am-4 pm EST)
- Webinar 2: Aug 24th, 2024, from 5-10 pm CET (11 am-4 pm EST)
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I love hearing back from you and am curious about the insights you gained from this exercise.
Let's create together,
Simon Rilling
PS. Whenever you're ready, there are 2 ways I can help you:
#1 Check out my podcast. You'll learn from independent leaders and free thinkers how to be true to yourself. And lead a free, inspired, and meaningful life.
#2 Book me as a coach & consultant. In my work we go deep into what is holding you back. And what it is that you want to create. Then we establish the strategies to make that happen.
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