“I wish I had been more confident! If only I had said what I thought."

Familiar thoughts? You're not alone.

Saying what you think - in front of others: the fear that paralyzes many. So you suck it down. Force it. Or conform, and follow along. “It wasn't important anyway.”

Wrong!

“If you don't say what you think, you kill your unborn self.” – Jordan B. Peterson.

And lose the joy of being you. A sense of resentment, frustration, or hopelessness might be all that remains. Deep down, you know: you are not authentic. You don't live your life.

People fear speaking in front of others more than death.

That was the story of my life.

Until I learned a liberating lesson.

My world changed. I started to love speaking. And by now, I facilitated 200+ transformative workshops and 230+ podcast interviews with +1.5M views.

Let me share the public speaking advice you never heard before.

To have fun speaking your truth. No matter where.

For many years, I was mute, social phobic, suicidal, and depressed. I was anxious about being around people, not to mention speaking to them. I avoided it like hell. And suppressed my fear with arrogance or alcohol.

Later I learned methods to control myself. I joined Toastmasters:

Like many of my clients, I had done personal development and practiced "common sense":

• I learned the perfect structure.
• I memorized my speeches inside out.
• I visualized myself as confident, a winner, and owning the audience.
• I visualized my audience as naked or cheering me.
• I used affirmations: “I'm powerful”, “I'm a great public speaker”…
• I got the reps in (“10’000h practice to mastery” anyone?)

Now I could perform.

But, I remained terrified to express my ideas.

And suppressed them. I said what I thought people wanted to hear. I craved their admiration. I remained a prisoner to a negative and self-defeating mind. Deep down, I knew it was fake.

Like one of my clients, a former opera singer. She had done all the prep, performed on stage, and gotten great reviews, but still wasn’t at ease.

It remained f***ing hard work!

What did I miss?

The fun!

My mistake? I avoided the worst case like the pest: making a fool of myself, failing, being criticized, or being humiliated. I didn't understand the nature of fear.

Then I realized: If I don't see fear for what it is, I can't have fun. What I resist persists.

After facilitating 200+ workshops and 230+ podcast interviews with +1.5M views, I can say for sure: fear is mostly imaginary speculation.

How?

Your mind scans for threats. To keep you safe. And warns you through fear. Sometimes real (e.g. the axe murderer in front of you - "run!"), mostly not. Both feel real.

In any case: the threat hasn't happened yet. If it had, you'd feel pain (not fear).

So what you're afraid of is a possibility. To a large extent unknown. That's what your mind hates. And fills that void with imaginary worst-case speculation. Fear porn. In reality, you don't know. It could be good or bad.

Let's take the extreme: fear of death.

It underlies the fear of public speaking: Being ostracized from the group means extinction to your stem brain. Not real: I don't know of anyone who died from public speaking. (Other than public assassinations)

But let's think that worst-case scenario through:

How can you fear death if you're alive? You don’t know what it’s like (yet). So you're not scared of dying—you're afraid of what your mind imagines about death. A hypothetical scenario. In reality, it's (still) unknown.

“The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for here's no risk of accident for someone dead.” – Albert Einstein

Teach your mind reality: You can't know what you don't know.

Can you do something about it? "Yes." Why worry? "No." Why worry?

You're still worried?

Bare with me:

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” – Albert Einstein.

You can’t get over your fears by working on your fears. You have to move beyond. Fear is not the problem. Avoiding the fear is the problem.

Fasten your seatbelt, you'll get

The public speaking advice you never heard before:

1. Do all the conventional prep you feel like doing.
2. Then put it all aside and
3. Think of your worst-case scenario
4. Accept that what you're afraid of can happen.
5. And then have fun.

You might think that's total nonsense:

How can you have fun, when you're afraid?

Here is how:

​>>> Do this unusual ​

​visualization.​

(Disclaimer: It's only for those who want emotional mastery 😎)

Now, the stage is yours. Act. Time to play.

Does that work? Sure.

It transforms my clients’ lives. It transformed mine.

Most of what I imagined never happened. And if it did, it was less painful than I feared:

95% of my podcast listeners' feedback is great. But, especially when I started (no clue, stuttering, and insecure) some listeners got personal. This is still true with controversial topics. Some people get triggered and emotional.

I got criticized:

• "The interviewer (that's me) seems to be under drugs."
• "If Simon didn't laugh so stupidly."
• "I can't bear the interviewer..."
• "The interviewer is embarrassing and annoying."
• "The interviewer constantly stutters unbearably until he finally formulates a question reasonably intelligibly."
• And the list goes on.

It wasn't my preference. But despite happening, it led to valuable learning and my development.

Stepping out of conformity, I found my voice. It didn't lead to exclusion and loneliness. Quite the contrary, it separated the wheat from the chaff. Some people didn't like it and left ("fair enough"). Others had a chance to get to know me better and what I stand for ("great").

I attracted more of the people I love to be with ("fantastic!").

Now, receiving comments like that is mostly entertaining. I see it for what it is: just another reflection point. And at times, I can learn from it.

Why do I share this?

Because no matter what you start with (speaking, business, arts...), you will initially most likely suck. And chances are, some people won't like you or what you do.

Instead of letting that paralyze you, enjoy the ride from the beginning:

Say what you think. And have fun.

While mastering your craft.

Of course, there is more to fully realizing that fear relates to fantasy. And to express your voice and creative spirit unconditionally.

That's what my flagship training, 'The Art of Creating 1,' is all about:

It encompasses the most powerful principles I learned over +15 years of creative self-exploration. And helped +100 clients step into their full creative power. It leads you to master intuition, creativity, and manifestation. And create a life with joy, purpose, and direction.

“The application of the tools Simon provided became the guidebook to deepen relationships, mindfully parent, become a more impactful leader, and realize my goals with greater ease & authenticity.” - Andrew White

I run the 4-day workshop this November again: >> Get more info & tickets here.​

You can also:

Join my upcoming Free Webinar to see if it's for you. And accelerate your creative empowerment. No strings attached.

Free Webinar - The Blueprint to Unlock Your Creative Power and Freedom Experience a life with joy, purpose, and presence ​ ☑ Stop living life on autopilot: Create your life, your way. ☑ Cut through the noise for sustainable change: Find a path that lasts. ☑ Find your creative power that can shape your future, forever. This is a transformative and interactive live training. Take this unique opportunity and step into your freedom! Webinar: Oct 5th, 2024, from 5-10 pm CET (11 am-4 pm EST) ​ >>> Join the free webinar

I love hearing back from you and am curious about your insights from this newsletter.

Let's create together,
Simon

PS. Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

​#1 Check out my podcast. You'll learn from independent leaders and free thinkers how to be true to yourself. And lead a free, inspired, and meaningful life.

​#2 ​Join my 4-Day workshop the Art of Creating 1​. To master intuition, creativity, and manifestation. And create a life you love.

​#3 Book me as a coach or consultant. We go deep into what is holding you back. And what it is that you want to create. Then we establish the strategies to make that happen.